The Worst
by dragonpearlz
Summary: This story tells of Zia & Severus' break up, after Severus finishes what Draco started. MAJOR SPOILERS of the Half Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows. Pairing: Zia/Severus Zia OC
1. Betrayal

Zia paced the kitchen in Severus' sizeable house. She didn't know why, but a feeling of dread had settled in her stomach. She knew from experience that this was never a good sign.

"Can, I help you Mistress?" Wormtail asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Get out, you slimy toad!" she screeched. She didn't care how long she and Severus acted as double agents, she hated Wormtail with every fiber of her being. It was he who killed James and Lily Potter and framed Sirius for it. It was he who caused Remus the crushing agony of loneliness. It was he who the Dark Lord had sent to be their house servant. And, it was he who Zia would cheerfully smite for no reason what-so-ever.

But, Severus had ordered her not to, lest she blow their cover. And, although he did not have the early ties to the Mauraders, as she did, he hated the despicable rat all the same.

"Rat, Mistress. I'm not a toad. I'm a rat." He spoke in a haughty tone that he would never use with Severus.

"Avada," she started, whipping out her wand.

He threw himself into the wall and screamed in terror.

The teapot whistled and she put her want away. "You're not worth it," she hissed as she walked past him.

--

She opened the door to Severus' study. "Tea," she said gently. She knew he had a terrible migraine and a cold forming on top of that. She took note of the dim lights and his handkerchief just barely peaking out of his sleeve.

He smiled. "I heard you tormenting the rat," he said smoothly. Cogestion lingered on the edge of his voice, but she said nothing about it.

"Nothing he doesn't deserve. I should have killed him when I had the chance," she answered darkly.

"Now, we've discussed this." He quickly withdrew his handkerchief. "Hetchachoo!" He winced as he sneezed and then again as he blew his nose.

"Bless," she said, handing him his tea.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Go," he said, suddenly on alert.

"Visitors?" she asked. He had put wards up around the house to warn them of unexpected guests.

"Upstairs, now!" he ordered, giving her back the tea.

"Bellatrix?" She and Bellatrix never saw eye to eye. In fact, although the other Death Eaters had somehow overlooked the fact that Zia hadn't gotten the Mark, she made it a point to heckle Zia about it at every turn. Neither trusted the other, and with good reason.

"And Narciss-hah-atchew!" He winced again.

"Bless," she said, hastily picking up any evidence of Severus' ailment. Just before she left the room, she ran her hand down Severus' face, leaving him with the warm feeling of healing energy. The edge was taken off the migraine and his insides no longer tickled.

Just as she made it up the stairs, the two women came in like a force of nature.

--

When the two women left, Zia went back to his side. He was considerably more pale than when she had been only a few minutes earlier.

"What did they say?" she asked softly. When he didn't respond, she tried another tactic. "What did you say?"

"I will," he said darkly.

"You will what?" she asked. Again no response. "Severus…"

"Pull it," he said quietly.

"Sev, what is going on?" she asked gently. Something had happened. Something serious.

"Pull it!" he yelled. "Huh-Wuffa!" he sneezed into a cupped hand.

She instantly made eye contact with him, and started to read his memories.

She saw him tell Bellatrix and Narcissa he knew of Narcissa's current plight.

She felt the feeling of panic as it swelled with him.

She saw him be goaded by Bellatrix, and heard Bellatrix threaten Zia's life with the killing curse.

She heard Severus call her a prop in his ultimate game.

She watched as he made an unbreakable vow to protect Draco to the best of his ability.

She watched as he continued to vow that he would help the boy in any way possible.

She watched in horror as he vowed to finish the quest if Draco was unable to.

"No," she whispered pulling out of his memories.

"I can't fight the Dark Lord for me too. I'm already protecting you." He was nauseous, but it had nothing to do with the migraine.

"Maybe Draco won't need your help," she said, hopefully.

"One can only hop." His head fell into his hands and he started to sob.

Zia sighed as she held him close. She mentally prepared herself for the future. These were dark times. Almost as bad as they had been nearly 20 years prior. But, she knew the worst was yet to come.


	2. Maybe

All who attended Dumbledore's funeral were somber and scared, but none so much as Zia. She had hoped upon hoped that one of two things would have happened. Either Dumbledore would have heeded her warning about Draco – and Severus, or Draco would have attempted the task on his own. If it was only Draco, Dumbledore would have been able to deflect the magic, even in the weakened state that he was in.

But, neither happened. Dumbledore was certain that Draco was not a threat, and he trusted Severus to take the killing curse again. As he had put it, "Severus has survived breaking a vow or two before. He'll survive again."

What he hadn't taken into account was the relationship between Severus and Zia. Before, Severus could have died and it wouldn't have affected anyone. He wasn't afraid of not surviving, or surviving as an invalid and a burden. But, in this case, he could only protect her, and keep her from making an unbreakable vow to the Dark Lord, if he lived. If he was unable to protect her, Bellatrix would make sure she entered into the vow. And, when Zia refused, they would know that she wasn't really a double agent. Just an exceptional spy. And, they would kill her. He couldn't let that happen. And, therefore, he couldn't break the vow again. But, Dumbledore was certain. And, nothing Zia could say would change his mind.

All members of the order were dealing with issues in their own ways:

Harry kept muttering, "I told you Snape was up to something."

Meanwhile Remus cycled between rage and depression. In his depression, he sobbed to Tonks and apologized to Harry. His rage, he took out on Zia.

She was grateful to most of the Order. Very few blamed her for Severus' choice, as Arthur and Minerva told her. But, Remus obviously did. His tirades were hurtful, spiteful and vindictive. But, nothing hurt her so much as when he told her to stay away from he and Harry. In an effort to seal the deal, he spit at her and walked away.

Taking a spot as far away from the front as she could find, her emotions totally overwhelmed her. She was sad for the loss of Dumbledore. She was devastated that it was done by Severus' hand. Her heart ached for the pain she was sure he was in, for she was aware that none other in the order loved, respected or trusted Dumbledore as much as Severus. She yearned to hold him close. When he left Hogwarts with the Death Eaters, he left her as well. Although they would see each other in the field, they would not be safe to be alone for quite some time – if every again.

She choked back a sob every time she tried to tell people that she had warned Dumbledore. She didn't view Severus as a villain. He had saved her life. If he didn't turn back to the Death Eaters when he did, they would have come after her. She would have had to turn her alliances as frequently as he did, just to stay alive. He spared her from that life. And, she was grateful for his sacrifice. But, she knew no one else would see it that way.

As she sat in the back, she remembered Lily's favorite muggle movie, Annie.

_Betcha my life is gonna be swell. Looking at them, it's easy to tell. And, maybe, I'll forget how nice he was to me. And, how I was almost his baby…maybe…_

--

"I killed Sirius Black. And, Severus killed Dumbledore!" Bellatrix shrieked for the hundredth time. "I'm so proud of you! I always knew you had it in you. And, now, we attack!"

She danced around the room, in a giddy stupor, and Severus forced himself to smile. He had ended two lives that night: Dumbledore's and Zia's.

He hoped that someday she would take him back. But, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't. He sniffed, more from his cold than from his emotions. But, as he was reminded of his cold, he was reminded of her. Her kindness and her strength gave him confidence in himself and in their relationship. Her dark side made him feel accepted. Her very being made him feel loved. And, now, he threw it all away.

On some level, he knew it was to keep her alive. But, if he had just broken another vow, he might still be alive. Though they would be in hiding again.

He rubbed his hand across his forehead. He had ruined everything. No one in the Order would ever trust him again. He had killed his mentor. And, he had broken the heart of the woman he loved. He had nothing now. Nothing except the Death Eaters and his memories.

He moved to the window seat and looked out at the stars. For the first time in years he was reminded of Lily's favorite movie, Annie. _It'll be fine. Nothing to fear. She'll be as happy as she was here. Things have worked out much better than planned. It makes you smile when fate takes a hand. And, I know I'll forget how much she meant to me. And, how she was almost my baby…maybe…_


End file.
